Intravenous Platitudes

Greeting Cards for the Dreary (c)

Make the pictures in your mind
because
drawings could be difficult

Insert Image Here x13

1. Some people live life through telescopes
and some through microscopes
but most live through toilet paper tubes.

2. What’s your STDatus?

3. LIFE ISN”T ABOUT FINDING YOURSELF.
LIFE IS ABOUT CHEATING YOURSELF.

4. Say “no” a thousand times.

5. If you tread water long enough
you’ll drown later

6. Take me to your feeders

7. Tell me you love me
but take your time

8. I miss your glancing blows.

9. Happy Birthweek.

10. Stop following me.

11. If you’d only stop reminding me
you’re pregnant.

12. Go home and fall asleep.

13. We cream as we cry
with foam.

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